Sometimes Doing the Best You Can Isn't Good Enough

If I have to listen to someone again tell me they 'did the best they could' as an excuse as to why they didn't accomplish something, I think you better get me a garbage can so I can throw up!

I'm all about doing the best you can, don't get me wrong. What's the point in trying if you aren't going to do something to the best of your ability? You should always do the best you can. But if everyone is doing the best they can, there still may be only one person winning the prize. 

In the case of applying for a job opening, you might have 50 people who 'did the best they could' and still failed. 

That's o.k. It just means the best you could do, on that day, for that thing, wasn't good enough. So what? Doing the best you can is not a reason someone should lower standards to accommodate your sub-par performance.

Failing to 'win' in this case, doesn't make you any worse. In fact it makes you better. It's just a way of testing where you are at, compared to where you need to be.

You don't see an Olympic high-jumper running up to the bar and stopping just as he gets to it. He doesn't complain the bar is set too high or that he wants it lower. The bar is set. Taking that leap is the test. If you fail, you need to go higher the next time.

If you want to win, you can't just do your best. Your best has to be what is required if you want to win.

If everyone 'won' simply by 'doing their best', we would have a very mediocre society. And if you won every time, what would be the incentive to make yourself any better?

If you don't win, do your best anyway. When you do win, you'll actually feel like there is something to celebrate!

Best of Success!

Positive G

Why you should get your advice from someone better

I was at the grocery store looking for a particular brand of highly rated coffee by Consumer Reports magazine and I was having no luck finding it.

One of the guys stocking the coffee shelf was eager to help me out. He looked at the page I had torn from the magazine and informed me, "We don't have that one, but this one here is pretty good." he said as he pointed to a different brand.

Against my better judgement, I took his suggestion.  Sure enough, upon trying it for the first time, I was less than happy with the decision, but I knew I would be. Why?   Because I violated my cardinal rule for listening to people - only listen to those who have more experience, knowledge, wealth, or whatever, than you do.

This kid looked like he was just out (if even) of high school, and I doubt he was much of a coffee drinker. If I may stereotype for just a second here, he was probably more likely to drink those 'energy' drinks from the cans, and if he drank coffee at all, it probably doesn't even taste like coffee after all the other ingredients are added.

I've been told more than once by a bank teller that she's 'noticed I have some money in my account I'm not using' (like she would know). Then she goes on to try to sell me into why I should put it in some of their CDs.

I always respond the same - by asking, "How much do you make per year?" Of course they don't know how to answer this and they rarely do. But I go on to explain that I only take financial advice from someone who makes at least ten times as much as I do, and if she can't show me that she does, there is no point in talking about it. That quickly ends those conversations.

I had a friend who was getting his real estate advice from someone who had never invested in any. Ten years ago my friend picked up four properties based on what this guy told him. Today he has no properties because he couldn't afford them the way he bought them.

It really goes for anything else too. If you are looking for a personal trainer, would you rather have someone with 20 years of real-world experience, or a kid in college with a piece of paper saying he is 'certified' (whatever that means) and just trying to make a living during his school year?

If you want relationship advice do you want to get it from someone who is happily married, or someone who never has been?

Next time you get advice, remember to ask yourself who the source is, and if you should even waste your time.

Best of Success!

Why 'hope' is not what you want

I saw a sign yesterday in a window of a store as I drove by. It was an older campaign poster of President Obama, and the word 'HOPE' under it.

We've all seen those, and I think the same thing now as I did then. Hope is a whimsical, non-element that does very little practical good. This isn't a rant against our President, but I did have to think for a second, 'What has 'hope' gotten us?'

I've always spoke against 'hope', and what it is that you really need for succeeding in life. You need 'belief' or you need 'faith'.

If we compare the differences, 'belief and faith' are a strong foundation for achievement. 'Hope' is an airy, touchy-feely, heart-massagy, thing that might keep you warm at night, but it is not a basis for succeeding at anything.

What sounds more reassuring to you; 'I hope someone finds us', or 'I believe they will be coming'; 'I hope I make it to the other side of the desert', or 'I have faith I'll make it to the other side'; 'I hope you succeed' or 'I believe you will succeed'? Christians don't 'hope' the Lord will come, they 'believe'.

Hoping for something is, well, hoping. Having faith is having an inner conviction that it will happen.

You don't base a financial plan, sports strategy, or survival on 'hope'. You plan, you prepare, and you believe you will succeed. Believing gives you an inner confidence to build on. Believing in yourself allows you to win.

I have faith that you will!

Best of Success!

How to choose your charity

With the Holiday season fast approaching, I thought the following is a fitting topic for this post.

The man in this picture (who must be the worlds richest homeless man) was resting near a vacant Burger King on Rice Street in St. Paul, MN. I stopped by to ask if he had a few minutes to chat. He got out from under his blankets and we had a decent conversation.

I see this guy pretty much every day when I drive up and down Rice Street. You'll notice he has brooms laying across the top of the wheelbarrow, and any time he is on the sidewalks he's putting them to use. He spends every day sweeping the public street from one end to the other - a couple of miles in distance.

I asked what he does in the winter, as I pointed to his blankets. He told me he shovels, because his job is 24/7, 365 days per year. I actually meant I wanted to know where he stays, but the answer was still sufficient for the moment.

I told him I appreciated the job he was doing - keeping the streets looking so nice - and I handed him a $10 bill as we parted. He thanked me profusely as I walked across the parking lot to my car, and I think he was still thanking me as I drove off. I didn't know what to expect before I started talking to him, but I didn't expect the overwhelming gratitude. Had I known this was coming, he may have gotten a $20 instead.

There are two points I'm trying to make. The first is, as the title implies, is how to pick where you donate your money this Holiday Season. The answer lies in that exact statement - you pick where to donate your money. I chose this guy because I wanted to. He didn't pick me. And, I do think it's pretty cool that a guy who could do nothing all day chooses to work instead, even though he doesn't have to. It's ironic that so many people who have work, choose to not work all day. By choosing my own charity and directly donating the money, I know 100% of it is going to the charity. It's very common for charities that are contacting you are allocating only 10% to the charity. The other 90%? It goes to 'administrative fees' and 'advertising'.

When  you pick the charity yourself, two things happen - you feel good about it because you took the initiative to help someone, and the charity is probably going to be more appreciative because they are not expecting it. IT'S O.K. TO SAY 'NO' to charities that come knocking on your door. You can't possibly donate meaningful amounts to every charity that confronts you. Trying to please everyone is the surest way to please no one. Do you think ten gifts of ten dollars are going to be remembered by the ten charities you give them to? Or, will one charity remember the $100 you gave them when they really needed it most? Don't feel guilty about not giving to everyone.

The second point is about who get's my money again - and again....

The homeless man was more grateful than those who have asked me for my money in the past.  Most of the time the 'baristas' at the coffee shops never even say 'thanks' as you dump your tip into their jar. It's as if they feel they are automatically entitled to it. Why do you think I don't put my tip in those stupid jars. And if you do, why do you?

Who do you think should get my money? The homeless guy who can't stop saying 'thank you', or someone who shows no appreciation?

I've got a $100 tip waiting for someone for right around Christmas. My money is currently on the homeless guy.

Cotton - Aug. 21, 1995 – Oct. 27, 2011

Is Positive G actually getting soft in this post, you ask. Is he going to show me that he’s actually human? Is he going to prove that his often misunderstood heart is not actually as cold as a Wisconsin winter?

Well, it’s a rare lucky day for you my friend, because the answers are yes, yes, and yes.

While this post does talk about a dog, I am confident that those who are not dog lovers, and perhaps even dog haters, will gain something if you just stick with me.

Cotton, my little West Highland White Terrier had to be put down yesterday. She was 16 years, two months, and one day old. (why I started counting like baby age after she turned 16, I’m not sure)

It was the second time I’ve had to do this with a pet, and neither time was fun. Death, by nature, is not a very pretty thing. It doesn’t matter how well you prepare, how tough you are, or how much you try to talk yourself into thinking it ‘won’t be so bad’. If you’re human, it’s not easy.

Three weeks ago she started losing the use of her back legs; getting noticeably weaker every day. First she couldn’t jump up into my truck. This progressed to not being able to jump onto the floorboard area of the car, and eventually to me carrying her up the stairs, which I didn’t mind. At only 10 pounds it’s not that big of a deal. (the stair thing, however, will be different when my 97 pound dog gets to that point – I might have to break out my old weightlifting belt once again)

By the last day, Cotton’s legs where so weak she couldn’t even stand up in the back yard to do her doggie business, and I decided to break out the long-ago-used doggie diapers. (actually a sort of belt to hold doggie sanitary napkins during that doggie time of the month). I modified them to be able to absorb more than a doggie menstrual flow by using regular ‘overnight’ maxi pads cut in half to fit. This seemed to be a better alternative than trying to make her stand up in the back yard when she couldn’t. She seemed to be more comfortable this way also, since she has always been notoriously cold even in moderate temperatures - and today just happened to be a little cooler than normal, resulting in the first snowfall of the season. By using the doggie diapers she could stay inside all day.

In the morning, when she was half way through eating her normal dog food, I decided enough of that crap, and for the last half of her meal she ate Lucky Charms right along with me.

She fell asleep in her favorite sweater, and in the warm sun as it shone through the window – her favorite thing to do; especially on chilly days – and she slept there most of the day without me bothering her one bit, other than to change her diapers. When she did wake up on occasion, she was usually met with a special dog treat. After that, it was back to doggie dream world.

When it finally came time to hit the road to get to the vet on the other side of town, we made a special detour – through the drive-through at McDonalds for a McDouble with no mustard, and also an apple/caramel sundae  – both were her favorite. The drive-through was probably her favorite place to go in the car. And yes, she got to eat the treats – not me.

By the time we reached the vet, she had a full mustache of caramel and ice cream. She was pretty much in heaven in her own little doggie world. I had said everything to her that I needed to in the days prior to this, and spent time with her today that I normally would have spent working. I was patient with her out in the back yard in the days leading to this day, and I carried her everywhere I could so she wouldn’t have to drag herself on her back hip, while adding to some scabs that were already forming from the times I couldn’t get to her soon enough.

When the time finally came for the final good-bye, it was as good as I believe it could be. Nothing can take away the sting of a ‘loved one’ leaving this earth, but when the sting wears off, I know I will always get a small chuckle thinking about her last minutes with that caramel all over her face, and how happy she was right up to the end. I know that I did everything I could to make her last day on earth one of the best days of her life.

Those of you who are not dog lovers are wondering when I’m going to fulfill my earlier promise I made. What’s in this for non dog lovers?

I’ve mentioned in the past that the best way to treat people really well is to do so as if you know a little secret that they don’t – that it’s their last day to live.

I could have complained about changing my dog’s ‘diapers’. I could have rushed her and yelled at her in the back yard for taking her time and getting distracted instead of just doing her business. I could have hurriedly given her the normal breakfast and spent my usual day working. I could have went straight to the vet without stopping to give her what she loved so much. But I didn’t. And as a result, I feel very good about those decisions. I had two choices; treat her how I would like to be treated on my last day, or treat her the same as every other day – and forever wish I would had chosen option number one.

While it’s not realistic to think we could give everyone we know a ‘last supper’ treatment every day of the week, (I mean, Betty in accounting IS always a pain in the *ss), it doesn’t hurt to do the best we can to remember that no matter what situation is presented to us, we still have a choice in how we react. How we react dictates how we feel from that moment forward. How we feel from that moment forward is what we call life.

Choose wisely.

What did you hear at the top of the stairs?

Mike Vance spent years in charge of idea and people development for Walt Disney Productions. A phenomenal mind in the area of creativity, and 'thinking outside of the box', I was fortunate to hear him speak on a few different occasions.

During his presentations he often mentions how what we hear 'at the top of the stairs' shapes the way we become, and how we shape our lives. Being 'at the top of the stairs' referred to a time when most homes had some sort of staircase going the the second floor. At the top, there was an area that had a rail and spindles. Children were able to sit quietly in that area and listen in to conversations of the adults down in the family room.

It was often 'at the top of the stairs' where we heard what the adults thought of us, our strengths, and our weaknesses.

Today this is figurative, and it may simply refer to wherever we were at the time we heard those who were influential in our lives speak of us in positive, and sometimes unflattering, ways.

It's usually after hearing what others think of us, or what they think we are supposed to become, that we choose our path in life - usually at the expense of truly doing what we would like to do, and often not doing what we would be much better at.

When we live our lives through the eyes of someone else, we often create not one, but two failures. We will never live up to what someone else wants us to be, and we will never be happy living the life someone else has 'chosen' for us.

So, what are you doing? Are you living your life through the eyes of someone else, based on what someone else thinks of you? Or, are you living the life you have chosen?

Choose wisely. That one single choice may be the biggest decision you ever make.

Change for the better?

Why is it that the invention of plastic bags has seemingly changed the way we great each other? Now, almost single-handedly, there seems to be no equal in terms of how one particular product has  replaced our standard way of greeting people. Instead of the ‘old’ way of saying “Hi, how are you today?” It now seems to simply be, “Paper or plastic?”

I’m not sure why it couldn’t be, ‘Hi, how are you today? Would you like paper or plastic?’ Why must we completely eliminate our old system of pleasantly greeting each other first, and then follow that with the cold questions of grocery functionality? Why can’t today’s workers integrate a normal greeting, followed by that moronic phrase?

Perhaps it won’t be long before we are walking down the street and the greeting there, as we pass each other, will also be, “Paper or plastic?”. Surely I jest, yet this may actually be preferable to the way most people pass each other today with a blank stare. Similarly, being lost in a cell phone conversation, or listening to your new favorite songs on an i-pod while blocking out the rest of the apparently unimportant world isn’t a whole lot better. At least if we said “Paper or plastic?” to everyone we encountered, it would be a start back to that age-old thing we used to call ‘communication’.

Maybe the best thing that could happen would be to simply eliminate the ‘paper’ option at the grocery store all together. At least then they would have to say something a little more intelligent. But then again, it might turn into, “Bag, or no bag?”

Yeah, I’ll just carry it all by hand. Forget I even brought this up….

In the land of the blind...

...the one-eyed man is king.

How do you survive a shark attack? You don't have to swim faster than the shark, you just need to swim faster than your friend.

I was watching a swimming event during the last Olympics. One of the heats had three place-finishers with a times that were contained within 1/10th of a second. The times ended in .03, .04. and .09.

This reminded me that the winners in any sport are often separated by just fractions of a second. In horse and auto racing, the distances can be incredibly small.

It is this way with pretty much everything in life. Political races have been won by one vote, the difference between getting a job or not getting a job can be based on one word in your resume, and getting something you've always wanted may simply be yours because you asked, and the other guy didn't. In fact when I ran a painting business my motto was simply, 'We'll Show Up'. That's all it takes since most contractors don't.

You don't have to be vastly superior to anyone to be the best in your niche, or category, or sport. Sometimes the difference-maker is just running that extra lap, working that extra hour, or getting out of bed just a half hour earlier than your competition, every day.

The next time you want to be king, remember the majority of the world is 'blind', and all it might take is doing that one little 'extra' thing.

What’s wrong with thinking?

I’m convinced that people are so self-absorbed in their own little worlds lately that thinking will soon become extinct.

I was at the gym the other morning, an Anytime Fitness. It was technically, from what I’ve been told by management, an Anytime Fitness ‘Express’. ‘Express’ in this context can loosely be translated into, ‘we don’t have much equipment at this particular location’. The management knowing this, by the way, is what makes the following all the more comical.

There is a bulletin board on the far wall of the gym that has a potpourri or items, including quotes, recipes, and the subject of this post – the ‘workout of the month’.

How these workouts are chosen I’m sure, is random at best, and haphazard most of the time. In this month’s case, it’s downright brain-dead.

This months workout is for legs. It starts with calves, then goes to hamstrings. This is followed by walking lunges, and ends with the leg press – performed on the leg ‘sled’.

The first reason this is moronic is the order of the workout. Any lifter worth their salt knows that just like the ‘weakest’ link principle, for the best workout you work the smaller (weaker) muscles after you work the larger muscles. Just as a chain breaks when the weakest link gives out, there is no way you can give the larger muscles an adequate workout if the supporting muscles are already fatigued. Also, by working the larger muscles first, you have the energy and fuel they need to give them a worthwhile workout.

BUT the dumbest part of this workout is that THIS GYM DOESN’T HAVE A LEG SLED. The 'workout of the month' requires one, but there isn't one available. And, depending on the person doing the exercises, it may not even have adequate size dumbbells for the walking lunges. While this gym is perhaps less equipped than some of the other gyms, the postings on this board are not ‘corporate’ postings administered by Anytime. These postings are placed individually at each gym by the management, and could be adapted to fit the individual gym.

Either the manager can’t think, won’t think, or just doesn’t care. Frankly, it doesn’t matter to me since the result is the same – no one can do the workout of the month. I’m all for providing free information to customers, but is it really even worth providing information if it’s worthless?

My point of this entire piece can be summed up by the sign Jack Welch, the CEO of General Electric, kept on his desk. It merely had one word – THINK!

Are you caring them away?

That’s not a typo. I do mean ‘caring’ and not ‘scaring’, even though they can occasionally be interchangeable.

So what the heck do I mean? Ask a female.

Why? Because they are often the recipients of guys who give so much attention, and ‘care’ too much, that it drives them away.

‘Where do you want to go?’ ‘What do you want to eat?’ ‘Can I do anything for you?’ ‘I’d like to spent time (a lot of it – maybe every hour) with you.’ Etc, etc. Annoying.

This can, of course, go the other way. The woman can also get too overbearing, and over-caring, and drive a guy away too, but I usually find that it’s men that often just try too hard for women. They are too afraid to lose the little ‘nibble’ they got when they met a female, and they hold on to it so tightly they kill it.

This can also be generalized to almost everything in your life. I like to say that the person who wants something least is the one who ends up with the best deal. Caring too much, and trying too hard will only move you further away from what you want.

The person who is desperate to sell their home will sell it far too cheap. The person who wants so badly to do a business deal, will drive the potential buyer away. And of course, that guy who wants the girl so badly that he's calling every minute, and showering her with gifts every chance he gets, will eventually lose her every time.

You can come up with your own examples, but I think you’ll find you won’t have to search your brain too deep.

Any time you are faced with a decision that you need to make so badly, and 'immediately', take twenty-four hours to think about it. After you distance yourself from the decision with time, you will probably never even want that thing any more. And if you do, you'll have a much clearer perspective on what it really means to you.

When faced with more daunting, or more important decisions, take a little longer than that to think about it. Never give in to your own ‘overbearing caring’ about something, especially if you want someone to do something for you. You just might care/scare them away.

Remember, there will always be another chance to find that special something. When I’m faced with an ‘important’ decision, I like to occasionally remind myself that once-in-a-lifetime deals come around about every month or so.

Just give me 15 seconds…

That’s what my good friend, Joe Amoia, “TheSmarter Dating Guy”, tells me. He says that when he’s consulting with a woman about dating, all it takes is 15 seconds on the phone to know if he’s able to help her or not. Some women, those who have no interest in changing their ways or taking advice, no matter how much anyone tries, just can’t be helped – yet.

I find the same thing during my coaching sessions. Unfortunately, however, one I did recently took almost five minutes into the call before the telling words came spewing from her mouth. “That’s just the way I am”, she said, as if I was supposed to work around that ‘minor’ issue, and fix her problem anyway.

My thoughts: Presumably, you wouldn’t be talking to me or looking for advice if you were 100% happy with your life the way it currently is.

What I actually said: “If you continue to stay the same, and continue to do what you’ve always done, you will continue to get what you’ve always got. Are you happy with what you are getting from life, and the position you are currently in?”

I don’t even have to tell you that her answer was a resounding ‘no’. Yet she was unwilling to change ‘the way she is’. Sorry, can’t help you. There is just no way to help someone who is unwilling to change.

We can take this a bit further. We can’t solve our problems if we are thinking on the same level as when we got into them. We have to think at a higher ‘frequency’, or on a higher level. Let’s look at an obvious example when we know we can’t think clearly – when someone is intoxicated by alcohol. A lot of people get in trouble when they are operating at a thought level of being drunk. It isn’t until becoming sober that you can start to solve the problem you got yourself into when you were drunk. When you try to solve your problem, still under the influence of alcohol, you tend to create more problems for yourself.

The people around you can see this quite clearly. They are operating at a much higher thought level, and you are literally moving, and thinking, much slower. Sometimes the difference is almost comical. Unfortunately, when we are talking about success or failure in life, the results are not comical. The level we are thinking on will dictate a happy and fulfilling life, or a life of misery and disappointment.

Before you can even get to the higher level to think more clearly and solve your problems, you must first be willing to change what you are currently doing if you want something different in your life. Remember, ‘insanity’ is simply doing the same thing today as you did yesterday, yet expecting a different result tomorrow.